TIMES ARE CRAZY!!!! I have hit a very low point and am heading to ROCK BOTTOM. I haven't felt this sad, depressed and anxious (so much out of control) in six years! Six years ago, I made the shift to change my life, learn to love and accept myself one habit at a time. I succeeded, it wasn't easy but with every obstacle that was meant to knock me down, I would rise up stronger and more determined to keep soldiering on.
The past few months It has become increasingly more difficult to SHOW UP and put that smile on my face! Habits that I worked so hard and had kicked the past 5 years ago have slowly weaved their way back into my life this past year. Funny how bad (unhealthy) habits are so easy ...
- I am drinking more
- eating less
- eating more quick processed foods
- not drinking enough water
- not sleeping well (Can't fall asleep at night and then cannot wake up in the morning)
- I am forgetful. I miss appointments I forget sooooo many things.
And all those things are wreaking havoc on my mental health.
THE THOUGHTS OF NOT BEING ENOUGH and FEELING LIKE A FAILURE in every aspect of my LIFE are ALIVE AND WELL.
You see, I made a life altering decision to change career paths and follow my heart in Dec2019. I had been dabbling in my passion for a few years. Sticking my toe in the water afraid to take the plunge, but then I did. I launched PATON Your Health and Wellness. I had grand visions of opening my Personal Training Studio and Gym, offering women and men who are just like me hope. I was happy!
But happiness is fleeting … (not sure who said that). Insert PANDEMIC here ...
LIFE as I (as we) knew it would be altered forever. And as hard as this is to admit, I have fallen into the dark abyss of my mind and have found myself back in that place where I thought was gone forever ... but here I am in that place where I don't like myself very much and where I feel like a complete failure as a woman, mother, wife, daughter, entrepreneur.
So many of you (my friends and family) have reached out and congratulated me on the success on my business, PATON Your Health and Wellness, and now as an Independent Zyia Representative. And your kindness means so much to me, but the TRUTH IS, I feel like a fraud. The truth is Social Media is the high light Reel. Not everything is as it seems. If you mean SUCCESS is happiness, then yes, I was happy to finally do what I believe is my calling in this life. But if you mean SUCCESS in financial terms. NO, that is not the case at all. The fitness side of my business has been a difficult road and to be perfectly honest, I have been giving my services away. It was hard to compete with the bigger studios and fitness brands who were offering FREE FITNESS during LOCKDOWN #1. So, I joined them and did the same and I had a loyal group following but FREE doesn’t pay the bills. I have led with my heart and I was rich in passion and love for what I was doing but when the Savings account funds start to dwindle, it got harder. So I approached them and started charging for my services and with that I lost 80% of my clients. Wouldn’t it be grand if we were paid with LOVE? Unfortunately, that is not how life works here on this Earth.
Fast forward to Feb2021. I launched my Active Wear Branch of PATON Your Health and Wellness. I was ecstatic and had hope once again. I had belief again (I had the spark). I could do this and continue working on building the fitness branch. Fitness and Active Wear fit. I could continue to do what I love (helping people). I quickly busted through milestones in the business and for the first time in over a year, I successfully earned a pay cheque that matched my gross monthly salary when I was working as a full time Financial Analyst.
Fast forward to April 2021, I find myself on the mental health and financial struggle bus once again. I find myself, like most of you, in another LOCKDOWN.
There are so many things that are beyond our control!
- IT IS SO HARD TO MANAGE STRESS.
- IT IS SO HARD TO KEEP MOVING ON when circumstances are constantly changing, and the outcomes are still so unpredictable.
I know this is heavy …
I didn’t really want to share all of this. I was going to do a quick post about ‘GETTING OUT OF OUR FITNESS / HEALTH RUT while in another LOCKDOWN’. But my thoughts starting racing and I have just gone with it …
I find myself in a place where I must SHARE (for my mental health and maybe yours as well).
I am reminded that It is important to bring our struggles to the light; however, we are built (most of us have been taught), don’t ever let others see you sweat (and I do not mean in a physical fitness sense) …
WE ARE ALL CONNECTED …
WE ARE like the trees, flowers. We ARE NATURE!
- Nothing thrives in the dark
- And we cannot be who we are meant to be among the weeds. I have been feeling isolated and suffocated …
WE ARE MEANT TO SERVE EACH OTHER
14 You are the light for the whole world. A city built on top of a hill cannot be hidden, 15 and no one lights a lamp and puts it under a clay pot. Instead, it is placed on a lampstand, where it can give light to everyone in the house. 16 Make your light shine, so others will see the good you do and will praise your Father in heaven.
In the midst of everything, I have also lost touch with my faith and that MUST CHANGE. So here I am sharing with you my thoughts in hope that I can be a LIGHT for you all and together we can THRIVE
Cheers to helping each other
- be happier
- more resilient
- maintain perspective
- let go of things that are beyond our control
- Identify what we CAN DO and less on what we cannot do.
What is something you can do today to be a LIGHT TO OTHERS?
For me I will share my story. I will do my best to INSPIRE, EMPOWER, UPLIFT by continuing to follow my heart and find my passion again in both branches of PATON Your Health and Wellness (Health, fitness, and athleisure wear).
This week, help me to help you!
I will be going LIVE and streaming workouts. I will be streaming at approximately 5:40 am and the workouts will be saved in the group for the week.
Join me first thing if you can. I have been using the excuse LATER (for months), but LATER never comes.
The time is now to TAKE BACK YOUR TIME, on your terms (you set the schedule). If you don't, as the day goes on and things pop up, time will be taken from you 😉
This week I will be SHARING, SHARING, SHARING …. PATON Your Health and Wellness + ZYIA Active Wear.
Thank you for being here and for all your support. If you are not already a part of my VIP Athleisure wear group, join here